Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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