So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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