just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
