just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've blown a few things in my day
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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