So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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