at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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