This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
