i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
