Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize