Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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