Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
