honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
