your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
