if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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