He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My life is pants optional.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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