i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
