walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
