Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize