Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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