you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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