Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
