my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
