true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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