yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she peed on how many people?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
