He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
