I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
