he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
