I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize