my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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