it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Houston, we have a blender
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
