Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
