I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
