Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
