The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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