why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
