WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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