Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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