no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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