i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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