why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
