oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
