Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
