oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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