I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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