Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
