i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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