so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
