he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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