he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
