My pussy is not your playground.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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