How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
