You're my little dorito
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
