so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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