I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
