Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
