He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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