quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
