I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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