Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just want nice things and good sex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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