I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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