do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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