Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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