Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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