Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
