She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
