I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So squirting runs in the family.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize