My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
