how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
