Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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