Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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