I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
