I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
