I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
