When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
