I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
