Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
