i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
