Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
