I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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