This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
