I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
